breaking all the rules

Before I became a parent, I had a few rules of parenting for myself that I didn't want to break:

1. Don't sniff his butt; just check the damn diaper.
2. Don't write as if I were the baby. 
3. Don't put the baby on the phone to "talk."
4. Don't do the "spit on the thumb to wipe the face" thing.
5. Don't let him watch television until at least age two.
6. Don't ever admit that Barney, Elmo, Disney World or any type of "capade" exist.
7. Don't give him soda, juice or junk food.
8. Don't co-sleep.
9. Don't ever let him cry when he might be disturbing other people.
10.  Don't enter him in any baby photo contests and beg friends and strangers for support.

Internet, I now know that no one knows more about parenting than non-parents.

I'm pretty sure I have broken almost all of those rules.
I routinely sniff his butt and shove his butt in other people's faces to find out "what do you think?"
He knows about Elmo.
I've used french fries to get him to be quiet.
For the first two months of his life, he would only sleep when laying against me.  I did what I had to do to get some sleep, and that was co-sleeping.
And I just wrote some thank-you notes as if I were the baby.

So the only question left is: Will you please, please, please vote for my baby in the cutest baby in the galaxy contest?  Thanks in advance!