Monday, March 25, 2013

23 days

Jack is going to have a baby sister in 23 days.  I'm not sure he's a fan of the idea. 
Here are some recent comments.

Geoff:  Jack, do you want a baby sister?
Jack:  No.

Geoff:  What should we name baby sister?
Jack:  Meow.
Geoff:  No.  What should we name baby sister?
Jack:  Mickey Mouse. 
Geoff: Well, that does have a certain ring to it.

Jack [to my stomach]:  Baby sister's in there?
Me:  Yes.
Jack:  Baby sister's in your belly button?
Me:  Baby sister is in my belly, yes.
Jack:  Baby sister is in your belly BUTTON!
Me:  Ok, you might be right.

[reading Getting Ready for Baby]
Me:  "And we're going to love baby sister, aren't we, Grandpa?"
Jack:  No.

[while I'm brushing my teeth]
Jack:  Mommy, you going to go BLERCH?
[making a vomit sound]
Me:  I hope not. 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

watch your step

This morning Jack fell on the icy sidewalk. 

He did this immediately after I said, "It's icy so be careful."
"Careful?" he repeated.
"Yes, careful, please," I replied.

After he fell I just kept thinking that I'm a complete moron because he doesn't know what "be careful" means.

I didn't tell him how to identify ice on the sidewalk. 
I didn't tell him why ice can be dangerous.
I didn't give him any idea what to do to "be careful" such as take small steps with flat feet and go slowly to make sure you aren't going to fall. 
I don't even know if he would be able to understand any of that anyway. 

I sometimes forget how confusing and sometimes frightening it must be to be a toddler.
You walk on the sidewalk like you have done every day and then BAM you're on your back on the cold pavement.  It probably hurt and was confusing as hell.

Yesterday morning it took me five minutes to get him out the door because he insisted that we take a carton of mac and cheese with us.  There was much screaming and tears and yelling and throwing himself at the closed door to get at the mac n cheese. 

Normally, this type of thing is not a battle I choose to fight.  You want to carry the maxi-pad with us to the car?  Go for it. 

But the carton of mac n cheese boxes was heavy and I didn't want to have to carry it back upstairs. I said, "No."  And I was getting a little frustrated with this tantrum because it made no sense to me. 

Today I realized that my refusal probably didn't make any sense to him either.  To him there is no difference between taking a sippy cup or toy with us and taking the carton of macaroni. 

Perhaps I should take the advice of the parenting experts Guns n Roses when they say, "All we need is just a little patience."

Monday, December 10, 2012


This weekend I learned two important lessons by trial-and-error that, in hindsight, should have been quite obvious:

1.  Don't let your kid eat a cookie in your bed.
2.  Don't give a two-year-old a pop-up book.

This weekend I also made these two exclamations that, even with hindsight, I would not have seen coming:

1.  Don't squirt whipped cream on the dog!
2.  Don't brush the dog's teeth with your toothbrush!

Toddlerhood is interesting.